GARY JOHNSON (Drivers License Photo) Industry developments that forced Gary to publish JCL, the tool for business. "Industry leading" claimed by one millionth vendor. Microsoft denies allegation of deceptive practices. e-Cobol: from IBM The new evolution. More Details on Gary Gary Johnson. -Wednesday  BACKGROUND Universal translation of software vendors marketing communications Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Vendors deny allegations of deliberate obfuscation -More blah -More blah -More blah -More blah Vendors dismiss classifications as too technical for most consumers -More blah -More blah -More blah

BOSTON -- Gary has designed a four level classification system to help the public understand the marketing and sales communications of computer and software companies

"BS" Basic BS

Nothing really offensive here. Be advised that it may sound like a silk purse, but its really a sows' ear.

"US" Useless Drivel

Most communications fall into this category. A few clues for the clueless. May tell you how a product can help you but won't mention any of the aggravation inflicted.

"SD" Small Droppings

More than 25% misleading content. Keywords to look for are innovative, industry leading, revolutionary. Announcements of new products before development has begun all fall into this category. See anything from Novell in the late 1980s on their new system architecture for examples.

"LPORE" Large Pile of Rotting Excrement

Pure works of fiction trying to pass as real information. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't. All the major players are guilty. Keywords to look for, state-of-the art, vendor independent, industry standard, speedy development.

If you trust them to accurately portray their products, you should have your head examined.