Anne and Gary GMGJ Johnson

A man spoke with the Lord about Heaven and Hell. "I will show you Hell," said the Lord. And they went into a room, which had a large pot of stew in the middle. The smell was delicious and around the pot sat people who were famished and desperate. All were holding spoons with very long handless which reached to the pot, but because the handles of the spoons were longer than their arms, it was impossible to get the stew into their mouths. Their suffering was terrible.

"Now I will show you Heaven," said the Lord, and they went into an identical room. There was a similar pot of stew and the people had the same identical spoons, but they were well nourished, talking and happy.

At first the man did not understand.
"It is simple," said the Lord. "You see, they have learned to feed each other."

In Heaven the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian, and the organizers are Swiss.

In Hell, the cooks are English, the police are German, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and the organizers are Italian.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things; your family, your health, your children, your friends, your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal." "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

Eleanor Roosevelt on Friends

Many people will walk in and out of your life,
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart
To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
He who loses money, loses much;
He who loses a friend, loses much more;
He who loses faith, loses all.
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.
Learn from the mistakes of others
You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Friends, you and me.......
You brought another friend....
and we started our group....
our circle of friends.....
and like a circle.....
Faith there is no beginning or end......
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.

Charles Swindoll - Attitude is Everything

The longer I live the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that certain people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

Simplify and other Advice on Happiness

Tal Ben-Shahar - Harvard Lecturer

1. Give yourself permission to be human. When we accept emotions - such as fear, sadness, or anxiety - as natural, we are more likely to overcome them. Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.

2. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters, moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning.

3. Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. Barring extreme circumstances, our level of well being is determined by what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and by our interpretation of external events. For example, do we view failure as catastrophic, or do we see it as a learning opportunity?

4. Simplify! We are, generally, too busy, trying to squeeze in more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.

5. Remember the mind-body connection. What we do - or don't do - with our bodies influences our mind. Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and healthy eating habits lead to both physical and mental health.

6. Express gratitude, whenever possible. We too often take our lives for granted. Learn to appreciate and savor the wonderful things in life, from people to food, from nature to a smile.

On the Death of a Very Young Gentleman

He who cou'd view the Book of Destiny,
And read whatever there was writ of thee,
O Charming Youth, in the first op'ning Page,
So many Graces in so green an Age,
Such Wit, such Modesty, such strength of Mind,
A Soul at once so manly and so kind,
Wou'd wonder, when he turned the Volume o're,
And after some few Leaves shou'd find no more,
Nought but a blank remain, a dead void space,
A step of Life that promised such a Race,
We must not, dare not think, that Heav'n began
A Child, and cou'd not finish him a Man:
Reflecting what a mighty Store was laid,
Of rich Materials, and a Model made:
The Cost already furnished; so bestow'd
As more was never to one Soul allow'd.

John Dryden

I used to have a Labrador retriever and I was buying a fifty-pound bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting 'The Purina Diet' again, although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But that I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out all over and I-Vs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. Practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned.

I told her no, I had been sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to stagger out the door, he was laughing so hard.

Some Assembly Required

A priest advertises a job to ring the bell in his tower. The only applicant is a hunchback with no arms. Priest: "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I will ring the bell with my face." Priest: "Ok, show me." The hunchback runs and jumps at the bell, striking it with his head. Sure enough, he rings the bell.

Every day the hunchback comes in and rings the bell. One day, the hunchback decides to try to ring the bell louder. He goes to the farthest corner of the tower, and runs as fast as he can toward the bell. When he jumps up and hits it with his head, the bell rings clear and loud. Unfortunately, the hunchback hit the bell so hard he's a little groggy. He staggers around a bit, and falls out a window to the street below.

A crowd gathers around the hunchback's mangled body lying in the street; the Priest goes out to investigate the commotion.

The policeman arrives and again asks: "Who is this guy?"
The Priest replies: "I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell."

The next day, a man arrives, claiming to be the hunchbacks brother. "Hi, I've come to take over my brother's job." "Your brother used to ring the bell with his face," said the Priest. "Will you do that, too, or will you use your arms?" The hunchback's brother replies "If my brother can ring it with his face, so can I!" So saying, he runs full bore at the bell, glances off it with his face, falls out the window and to his death in the street below.

The priest rushes down to see what he can do for the poor man. A crowd gathers. A policeman arrives and asks the priest "Do you know who this man is?"
The priest replies, "No, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."